So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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