I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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