I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
