I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
