That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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