currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
