we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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