i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize