is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize