Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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