So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
