I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
