There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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