I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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