My room smells like vodka and shame
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
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