you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
