We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
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