he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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