Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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