Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
