And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
