its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
