you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
