Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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