i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize