Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
