There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just gargled with NyQuil
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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