He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm bleeding and have questions
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize