I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
