I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
