do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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