then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
