can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
