Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
