Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
don't judge my taste in strippers
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize