i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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