I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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