I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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