I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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