Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
