Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Randomize
