it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
