So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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