OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I did not marry a roomba.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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