dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
