Nicole vs. Life
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize