my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
