Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
