My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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