u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
