So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
