Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
