He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
