Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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