Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
