Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize