Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
